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[reachnotflexibility]

 "You've reached Garrus Vakarian. Leave your name and number and I'll call you back when I can."

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Comments

I laughed so hard

[k2so]

Aw. Why not? [Kay fails to see the romantic implications of that. Watching the sunset was just nice.]

She likes mysterious people and she also works a lot, also likes pokemon. And he's a bodyguard! Ah, she's not turian, she's human. Or looks like it at least.

Yes. It really came out wrong. [Kay is judging you a bit here, Garrus.]

It's okay, I think I get it.

Then my work here is done!

[reachnotflexibility]

...It's going to be cloudy. [Doesn't matter that they haven't picked a day. That's his story and he's sticking to it!]

Since when do I like mysterious people? Have you met me? I like my books wide open. Black and White.

I'm, uh, not sure on the whole human thing. Don't really know how that works. We have different amino bases so I'm not sure if anything would be toxic to each other.

Not that I'm planning on doing anything the first date.

Well, maybe. Sometimes things happen. But only if she wants it.

But what I meant was what if even a kiss goodnight is poisonous? I don't think this is a good idea.

Does she even know that I'm a turian?

/applauds

[k2so]

With this heat-wave? ...okay. [If you insist, Garrus.]

No, I'm saying that she might like you because you are kind of mysterious. And the rest of things, well, who doesn't like a bodyguard? They're fond of weapons and you are too.

[Why you gotta be so difficult.]

Do only what you feel comfortable doing, Garrus. And same advice goes for her. Is it worth giving it a try? If you don't like it, you don't have to see each other again.

if it worries you so much, we could analyze your organism and take a sample of human blood and see if they affect each other.

Neo knows you aren't human. She doesn't mind, obviously.

/bows

[reachnotflexibility]

[He does. He insists vehemently.]

I'm mysterious? [ He never would have pegged himself for that trope. Sure, there's the Archangel thing but no one actually knows about that, right? ]

I mean, I won't say that just being a bodyguard is a turn on for me, but I guess we could bond over weapons if she's that into them... She fights with a gun right? Because a shockingly large number of people here prefer swords and those just aren't my thing.

I guess? I think it would vary from person to person, though; that's how levo-dextro food crossing works. So we could find out if I'm allergic to humans overall, but we'd have to test each human separately to find out if they're allergic to turians.

Not that I'm looking to sleep with every human.

Or any human.

I don't even know how sleeping with humans works.

♥

[k2so]

Yes. [Mysterious, bad at socializing...practically the same thing. Kay spent far too much time with Cassian, he mixes the two now.]

I didn't ask her about her weapons but that could be a good subject of conversation. [Who doesn't like to talk about it?]

Oh, that's complicated. But knowing if you are allergic to humans on principle is a good thing already. We will figure out the rest in no time, don't stress yourself.

You could try but you will need to have breaks every now and then.

I know a bit but you probably want to ask someone else that. Not Cassian, he would die from embarrassment. You could ask Tanussen, he seems to know a lot about it even if he isn't human.

[reachnotflexibility]

Yeah... no. Tannusen is the last person I would ever ask about sex.

[He's already learned enough from the man to scar him for life thank you very much.]

I'll probably just, you know, not. That seems like the safest way to go.

[k2so]

Then ask his boyfriend, he must know just as much but he's far more serious.

[Yes, go ask a priest about Xeno sex, Garrus. Flawless plan.]

Hm. Yes I suppose you could leave that for the second date or so.

[reachnotflexibility]

...

I could be abstinate, right? People do it all the time.

[someone save him]

[k2so]

Oh, yes sure. Cassian did it for over a decade.

[reachnotflexibility]

[There's such thing as TMI, Kay.]

That’s… [awkward cough] comforting.

[k2so]

[Not between bros! He's trying to help.]

Very. he was busy trying not to get killed, that keeps you occupied.

[reachnotflexibility]

Yeah, I imagine it would.

[God he needs a drink right now.

Cassian too, probably.]

[k2so]

We are doing much better now, I take care of him.

Anyway...good luck with your future date, Garrus. Let me know if it went well.

[reachnotflexibility]

[Just going to, y'know, not comment on that.]

Thanks. Will do.